We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
