Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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