I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
