R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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