if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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