Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
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I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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