so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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