This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
