turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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