I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
