if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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