I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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