After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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