i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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