Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
