my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
