Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
And then he peed in my hair
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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