so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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