New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
