Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
