Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
