The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
