Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My vagina is officially offended.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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