omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
