My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
