My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
