I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
