please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
