i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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