All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
