I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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