Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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