it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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