if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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