I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
