If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
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this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My feet surprised me
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