so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
