and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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