Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A+ Viking dick
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
