is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
