my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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