I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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