You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
