I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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