i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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