jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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