He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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