Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
