Tell her she can't have a vagina
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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