She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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