Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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