Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
