We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I supernannyed him into submission
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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