I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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