At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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