Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
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No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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