woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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