Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize