Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
