honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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