I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize